I yelled at someone today.

Have you ever noticed that the more you try and accomplish a goal, the greater the opposition trying not to just knock you down, but push you back farther from where you once began?

In this simple life of ours, I make it a point to try and be plain old nice to people. I smile at cashiers and say thank you. I make eye contact and treat people with respect. I suppose this stems from my brief stint in retail during college. I couldn’t – and still can’t – believe how mean people can be to the most random and undeserving folks. I understand that everyone has a bad day but it isn’t an excuse to take it out on people unrelated to your stressors. I have pretty high tolerance for annoyance and can usually muster at least a neutral reaction even if I’m seriously peeved. But today, my crazy cup runneth over and I snapped.

I recently decided that as an adult, I should find a primary care doctor. Just in case I find the time to get sick this winter, you know, in my free time. I found a doc I liked and she requested some routine blood work since I haven’t been to the doctor in years. I set an appointment for early this morning to get stuck.

The appointment was for 8:15 and I figured this would give me loads of time to get myself and both girls into the office, have the labs drawn, load everyone back in the car and get E to preschool by 9 a.m. I woke up at 6:15, get bags and backpacks loaded, sippy cups filled and the girls’ breakfasts ready so we can hustle out the door by 7:55. I loaded the double stroller in the car and stuck some lollipops in the back for bribery. I was prepared.

Did I mention I had to fast? No breakfast but more importantly, no coffee. No good.

I really don’t know how I failed to foresee the impending disaster.

Surprisingly, we got to the office on time and I started to unload the girls when I noticed a slight problem – there were parking barriers in front of the sidewalk that were placed too close to squeeze the stroller through. That, and the sidewalk in front of the building was about 6″ high with no handicap accessibility in sight. Shoot. No problem, I thought, and carried the stroller onto the sidewalk and loaded in B. Then I realized there was another 6″ high ledge to get through the very, very narrow front door. Shoot.

Does anyone else frequently have those moments when they really don’t want to do what it tasked before them? I didn’t want to take both of my whiny, non-stroller-happy kids to the doctor. But I had to. I really, really didn’t want to figure out how I was going to get the stroller and two kids inside that very small office with lots of breakable things. There was no way I could take them in without the stroller. But I was there and it was too late to cancel.

Somehow, by the grace of God, I got the stroller, myself and both girls inside the building by 8:18. And then I realized that I was the fourth person waiting for get lab work with one tech. Apparently appointments mean nothing.

8:20, 8:30, 8:35 roll around. I had to be in the car and driving by 8:45 to get E to school on time. I waited and paced and compulsively checked the time. Finally, irate and with low blood sugar, at 8:40 I found the receptionist and calmly told her that I was so sorry, but I had to take my daughter to school and would need to reschedule.

Nah, it wasn’t that polite.

I snapped at the poor woman. I don’t remember exactly what I said but I was trying to fight back tears of frustration and anger and HUNGER and told her that I was leaving because I had to take my daughter to school and didn’t she know that I had an appointment? And then I told her I would be back tomorrow and she suggested I come at a later time. Because going 2 hours without eating or coffee was going so well, let’s make it 3 hours tomorrow. I’m going to be a ball of sunshine.

Fortunately I had the forethought to bring along a mug of coffee that I chugged before calling J in sobs that life just isn’t fair. I posted a cryptic and emo Facebook status and sobbed into my Luna bar while hightailing it to E’s preschool. I gathered myself and dominated a workout while B hated life in the gym’s child watch. I felt much better.

But the worst thing of all is I have to face the receptionist tomorrow and all the office staff that saw my display of crazy.

Tomorrow will be better. I will drop the girls at mom’s morning out, even if B hates it, I will get this blasted blood work drawn and then I will treat myself to Starbucks.

Be simple, don’t yell. It will be my mantra.

 

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2 thoughts on “I yelled at someone today.

  1. I’ve got days like that…where the world is against me. You’re a supermom for getting your crew up and out the door and in that office. I have trouble with just one! It’s also very RARE for any appointments to be at the scheduled time. No matter where you are….that’s just my experience anyway!

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