New life.

One month ago, we said goodbye. Goodbye to our first house, goodbye to our neighbors and friends, goodbye to our church, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. After so many months of preparations and planning and waiting and waiting, the final goodbye was rather anticlimactic.

We had a week to get our things packed and loaded – with the “help” of a moving company – and the house cleaned and thought we’d have a few days leftover to enjoy the city we called home for over four years and say goodbye to friends who became like family. As usual, things became increasingly complicated as the movers took two days longer than planned to pack the house and our sweet Blair fought a high fever for over five days. And so, the week involved little fun and lots of tears and many prayers.

Timing is a strange thing and as it happened, as we were settling into our new home in a new city, we should have been welcoming a new life into our family. Mid-June would have been the due date to the sweet baby we lost last November and I’d be a horrible liar if I said the timing of our move and the what would have been wasn’t a heavy weight. Miscarriages are an awful, heart-crushing experience and with one heartbeat, you want to scream to the world, “this enormous, life-changing, emotionally and physically retching thing has happened – recognize this!,” while with the next you want nothing else but to hold this precious, private thing so close that the outside world can’t claim it and taint it. With the due date passed, I feel closure. Paired with our move, June turned a page in our family’s story and while I recognize and honor that chapter in our lives, I’m ready to write a new story about a new life. 

We’re more or less settled in our new house in Charlotte. We fought the trek to suburbia both tooth and nail but as the truth of family-friendly and convenience spoke, we ended up with a mini-mansion situated squarely in the middle of a subdivision with a pool, playground and sidewalks. Sidewalks that randomly end. For all I hate about the cookie cutter lifestyle, there is something to be said for neatly kept lawns and the type of community where kids leave their bikes strewn across the driveway without worry. So, I’ve resigned myself that this is our – for now – new normal. But I still hum “Tiny Boxes” as I chase my kids down the sidewalk on their new bicycles.

We have lots of catching up to do, don’t we?

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6 thoughts on “New life.

  1. I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had one 4 years ago and it’s never easy but hitting wht would have been the due date is hard. I miscarried the same day my daughter gave birth to her second child.

    Your neighborhood looks cute! I hope you’re liking Charlotte and you’re having cooler summers

  2. So sorry to hear about your loss, I had no idea. ='( I’m glad you are feeling closure and settling in to your new place, though.

    Your old home was so cute! Perfectly Southern! We’re in a little ticky-tacky subdivision too, I love that there are lots of kids…but I can’t stand the lack of character either. I can’t believe how big the girls look!

    • Thanks, Nicole. We LOVED our house – I wish we could have picked it up and moved it here. There are lots of kids here. Most are a bit older but there is one little boy the same age as Em who moved here from WI and I thought of you!

  3. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. You did have quite an emotional June 😦
    Brody and I have lived in suburbia for seven years, and now we’re planning on moving to a new suburb. They have their perks 🙂 Love that you quoted Weeds!

  4. Pingback: Things Fall Apart, Part I | The Lambent Life

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